Never before has a game been more “the real deal” than BK2K. Look at that art. Knight in black armor on a cyber horse about to throw a lightning bolt into your face. The music sings – not just the iconic choir and vocalist, but the FM synth sings too, punctuating every special shot before you could show a goofy animation on the lcd. The Magna-Save – hoooly shit – the ball fucking levitates just in time, saved from a drain by an invisible hand, but only if you predicted your doom in time. My favourite pinball table, complete with honorary smart-bomb mechanic.

The ideal of the “duel”, from every set you ever ran in a FG to every swordfight you ever watched to every quake 3 duel you ever lost, is about ebb and flow, dominance and submission. Sometimes you’re the one on top and sometimes you’re fighting for your life. press your advantage, or thrash and dodge to keep the blade from your neck.

BK2K somehow has a little bit of this duel quality in a pinball table, a single man’s endeavour if ever there was one, due to its two-tiered playfield. When you’re up on top, you haven’t a thing to worry about. You just hit that skyway loop 1 time, 2 times, 85 times, have some jiggly fun in the bumpers, try to hit the ransom shot or at least lock a wee ball away for later. The ball is fast, but you almost want to drain it for the sake of the WAR lanes.

However, once you do fall out of heaven, the lower playfield is fast and lethal. Williams pinball was not meant to be played on a field the size of a shoebox, and all the shots here are meant to funnel you into a grave – the ball is incredibly fast coming out of the tiny horseshoe loop – the lightning wheel barely gives you a breather and some irrelevant points before putting you back on the edge – the drop targets, man, forget about the drop targets.

There is but one way out, a fairly narrow left ramp. Not a super-hard shot, but one always made under intense duress (sometimes as a hurry-up shot). Miss it and you go back in the tumble dryer for a while, but hit it good and you go back up to the upper playfield and about 12 lungs of breath come out of you in relief. Sometimes you soar with the eagles and sometimes you slither with the snakes.

While BK2K is hardly the only table to have some dangerous areas to avoid, the purity, sharpness and duality of this design make it about as unique as a pinball table about hitting the same shot over and over again could ever be.

Unfortunately, it is a pinball table, so playing it means going to a convention and watching someone’s dad beat the shit out of the machine, drain one (1) ball and then aimlessly walk away.